I am pretty sure I do not always observe my own advice, but being aware of these differences is half the battle. If you can actively recognize that these things will be a change for you or are different than what you are used to, you will begin to adapt faster to the new culture around you. Expat experiences are different for each person and vary drastically depending upon the country you land in. Expats also vary between whole families, couples, or singles explanted from one country and brought to another, but also include one person joining their significant other in a new country. Both situations can result in drastically different experiences for those moving abroad, but in both cases you have a common bond, being the new country you live in, and hopefully you will also find some expats that come from the same country as you!
Expats are not only those that move from the US to another country, they include anyone going to a new country independent of their country of origin. Seems obvious when it's written down, but I was completely ignorant to this fact when I first arrived. Be open to meeting all sorts of expats, it only expands your own horizons.
On to the advice.... these are in no particular order, I wrote them down over a period of a couple of weeks as they came to me. I think you'll find that I gravitate towards compensating for food issues since it's so important to me (hopefully not a surprise if you read this blog often enough!), but I also tried to incorporate some non-food, every day life issues as well based on my own experience. If there are any you'd like me to expand on, drop me a comment!
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First some basics about my expat experience to give you some context:
What is your home country: United States (Minnesota)
How many years have you been away from your home country: 3 years
What is your current (and previous) expat location: Eindhoven, The Netherlands and Torino, Italy
Why did you choose to live abroad (note this could be the same answer as below): Originally my husband's job
Are you working?: Yes, locally in NL and was working remotely for a US company while in Italy
How often do you go to your home country?: Once per year (although I think we're just over at this point)
- Understand the city you are moving to, especially if you are single. Big city life is less of a culture shock, and often more apt to have the conveniences we are used to in the States.
- Things are slowly changing in Europe, but typically stores are closed on Sundays. This will almost always be true for small store operations (much more common in Europe than the states), but large mega-like grocery stores or electronic stores may be open on Sundays. Sometimes if the stores are open on Sundays, it's not every Sunday (e.g. in Eindhoven, when we first arrived stores were only open the first Sunday of each month). Check local listing, co-workers or fellow ex-pat friends.
- Understand what ex-pat groups are available, how often they meet, what the membership is like (i.e. only women, women and men, moms, company groups, etc.). These groups are essential to getting over the nostalgia of home over the holidays, venting issues about the new country you are living in (they will be there inevitably), getting recommendations for the hair dresser, doctor, dentist, etc. You will make some of your dearest friends from these groups.
- Expats are a transient group. People come, people go, some for longer, some for shorter. As a result, friendship with fellow expats happen fast, you just don't have as much time to waste getting to know someone. Embrace it, it's a lovely thing to bond with people so quickly especially because they are people you likely may not have bonded with in your home country/region.
- Cultural differences are real (we are not as universal or worldwide as we’d like to think!), take some time to understand them and figure out how they will impact your work and/or social life. It may be helpful to understand the history of the country, it could shed some light on any peculiarities you may/are experiencing.
- Make sure that the job you think you have is the job your company wants you to do (there can be a difference!). Use an example of a general task you would expect to perform and see if that matches your manager's expectations.
- Don’t compare everything to the US, keep these thoughts to yourself and make a mental note. One, it’s better for you: you’ll acclimate and adapt to your ex-pat life faster. Two, your fellow co-workers and new foreign friends think you are saying everything is better in the US (even if you’re not trying to).
- Even if you were hired for your American experience, you will have to adjust to the local methods and management style. It’s hard and sometimes seems counter-intuitive, but you'll question even your most basic understanding of the way the world works which is part of your expat experience!
- Figure out if you can obtain exclusively American food ingredients where you are moving to. Some items we've had trouble acquiring are brown sugar, powdered sugar, molasses, maple syrup, Heinz ketchup, gel food coloring, Christmas cookie decorations (actually, holiday decorations in general), cranberries (in some countries), American candy bars (e.g. Reese’s peanut butter cups – I have found Snickers and Twix bars, but they taste different). Note, all of these things depend on the country you are going to, you’ll figure it out with time, but for the your first trip there, grab a couple of these if you really think you’ll miss them!
- Organic foods are available: In many of the countries we've been to, obtaining organic food (called bio here) is not difficult and can often be found in the grocery store. There are often fresh markets (even in the cold Netherlands) where you can purchase vegetables, fruit, fish, etc. all year round (it’s a little warmer in Europe than MN). If you are from the mid-west you will likely find this pretty cool!
- Find a source of English TV shows and movies: this will allow you to stay current with the American social scene. Some successful options are Amazon Prime, Roku, Slingbox, etc. Of course, it could deter you from learning the language of your chosen country, so be careful with this mixed blessing.
- Contrary to this, listening to the local radio and watching local TV can help you learn some very basic language skills quickly. Put yourself out there and try a bit of the local language if you are interested to learn, I have found that local people are responsive to this and will help you learn... but only if you put yourself out there!
- Don’t expect people to speak in English because you have arrived... Remember, you are the foreigner!
- Get an e-reader. Keep your life light and not full of stuff, a great way to start is with an e-reader. In an English speaking country, there will be some English books, but you will probably want a larger selection. Most expats use the e-reader approach to get around this. Large cities such as Amsterdam, Paris, etc will have larger English bookstores, but the cost can be high.
- You will find American treats/candy taste REALLY sweet when you go back for vacation or permanently.
- Donuts and cupcakes are primarily American. Tear… =(
- Most of Europe is dog friendly, this is a nice bonus. Often (but not always) you may be able to bring your dog into a store or restaurant. Generally they are not allowed in grocery stores/bakeries/etc.
- American beef is a luxury, you will find the beef in Europe lean. Enjoy American beef while you have it.
- Beef can be eaten raw (called steak tartare), it’s delicious especially with all the condiments (and when in France!), give it a try!
- Usually there are amazing places you can travel to within only a 4 hour drive – take advantage, don’t squander this opportunity. Cheap airlines with equally cheap flight tickets can usually be bought and is also a good way to get around.... take note of the rules and regulations though, they will always try to get more out of you this way!
While being an expat is overwhelming at times, the best advice I received when I started my expat journey was that 'home' is where your family is (immediate in these terms) and the experience is what you make of it. While you will undoubtedly experience frustration, loneliness, 'homesickness', and a desire to be back in your 'home' country where everything is comfortable... you will also feel extreme joy and awe, luck that you get to have a life in another country, and gratefulness. Take it in stride and know that there are other expats out there to help you through it all!
By the way, if any of my expat friends have any other tips, please share them by leaving a comment at the bottom of this post!
Excellent article Monica!
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